How many times you look at a cat face (or your beloved pet) and say: “you want some love don’t you”?
Unconsciously you read into others beings with your Mirror neurons or smart cells in your brain that allows you to understand others’ actions, intentions, and feelings. This is more apparent when you watch a film and read through the actors feelings, cry with them or smile along or experience fear. The emotional thermometer is working all the time through these neurons. Naturally you don’t need to think (he is experiencing anger and I need to show him that I understand how he feels I will therefore say….), you don’t need all of that, all you need is to feel what others are feeling and mirror it inside you, shutting down thinking and focusing on perceiving the information you are getting as emotional messages. Once you have done others will feel it. In coaching that is what presence is all about. Moreover research shows we actually mirror the behaviors we see, so if you look at a baby who smiles at you, you will smile back at them. So you need not even worry about the responses when you are listening and being there for your client. You will give the right physical response that they need to see and feel.
The problem is we block it. We overthink and get into the self-dialogue mode which means we try to find meaning related to our experiences and own thoughts. Once we do that, we are no longer sensitive to them. Another way to block it is to move from being there with them to being inside us only. So we start experiencing our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It all takes training to remain true to them when we coach, listen or empathize.